Gluten fears

I'm constantly worried about what I'm going to eat. Becoming suddenly allergic to gluten about four years ago was a horrible surprise to me, followed by dairy allergies two years later (common allergy pairs).
I have coped pretty well with the changes but certain parts of my life have become a lot harder. Socializing has always revolved around food for me, with both friends and family. So take away the safe food element and I'm stranded on an island. No more pizza parties, no more fast food, and while restaurants are do-able, sometimes the risk is much greater than the reward.
When someone makes the simple gesture of preparing food for me to eat it makes me feel incredibly grateful, as if there is no greater gift. I am lucky enough to have such friends and family in my life.
Today, my boyfriend and I traveled to his parents place and I was so worried about the food because his mom asked me not to bring anything. Not bringing anything makes me feel out of control of my own health and wellbeing. It is extremely hard to trust people to make you food when one slip up could mean you are curled up in the fetal position for hours or nauseated for half of the next day with a swollen stomach and gas. But when someone does it right, the gratitude I feel is immeasurable. It is hard to convey the trust issue to people because they don't understand the sentiment that for me gluten and/or dairy = pain. Therefore food = pain. Food. Something we need to survive. Food. Think about it. Animals are pretty smart, they eat a berry or mushroom that gives them a tummy ache and they don't eat it again. I don't think we are that in tune with our bodies. But I remember one fateful day suddenly getting the cold sweats, running to the bathroom, wishing I could puke, trying and failing to make myself puke, hanging my head over the grungy toilet in a filthy Hobby Lobby bathroom. Then pulling myself together and making it out to my car where I sobbed, humiliated and distraught. All because someone was careless at the restaurant I ate lunch at (even after asking about both gluten and dairy). I don't know if I will ever eat at that place again. No trust. That bridge is beyond burned, it was nuclear bombed. The worst part was, I was two hours from home, so I couldn't just run back to the house and curl up in bed and groan until it went away. I obviously survived and I'm ok, but I am scarred by that and will remember it for a long time.
Sometimes the trust is broken in a different way, when I am putting my wellbeing in someone else's hands and they offer me something that I can't have. I'm like, "uhhh, am I safe to eat here or were you just being polite because everyone is having chocolate cake without me?"
One of the best ways I cope is just to make some really awesome gluten free, dairy free foods myself. Or run by a natural grocery store and splurge on some goodies for myself. 
Today we traveled to my boyfriend's parents house for Thanksgiving. And sitting there on the counter with a friendly little label was a gluten free, dairy free pumpkin pie. Trust. Bridge rebuilt.